So What Next - DA:I Fan Fiction

       Enansal awoke to the sound of her husband whimpering in his sleep. With a  quiet snap of her fingers she ignited the log in the nearby fireplace to have some light to see him by. Turning onto her left side she propped herself up on the nub of her elbow, the rest of her arm turned to stone and removed at Exalted Council six months ago. She moved awkwardly as her bump was now protruding were it did tend to get in the way.

Firmly she put a hand on Cullen’s arm and began to shake him gently, calling his name to wake him. After a few moments he roused from his un-peaceful slumber. “Cullen. Cullen, wake up dear.”

With a low groan Cullen finally awakened and rolled toward her. Blurry eyed he looked at her. “What, my love?”

“You were moaning in your sleep.” The Inquisitor explained. “Are you alright?”

“I think I was dreaming, but…” Cullen tried to craps at the rapidly fading dreamscape, “… no, I don’t remember what I was dreaming of.” This behavior wasn’t at all unexpected. One of the things that had made breaking his addiction to lyrium so hard was its euphoric qualities. After a stressful day or situation, a Templar could dose and find immediate euphoria. On days like this where Cullen was stressed his body longed for a hit of lyrium. He fought the urge successfully, but the body remembered.

“Do you want to talk about it?” his pregnant elven wife asked.

“What’s there to talk about that wasn’t discussed earlier?” He asked her knowing there was no answer to such a rhetorical question. He raised his arm wiping the sweat on his brow off with his forearm.

“I know.” She rubbed his chest reassuringly, leaning his head upon him. They lay like that for a time, but as Cullen drifted back off to sleep, Inquisitor Enansal Lavellan had become wide awake.

Cullen’s exhaustion didn’t even feel the stir as Enansal made her way as graceful as she could from the bed they now shared as man and wife. The autumn night air was crisp and felt good against her skin. She made her way out on to the balcony of the upper chamber of Skyhold and looked out at the waning moon and mountains below.

She could understand her husband’s stress. The news that came to them from Leliana was not good. There was a three way split forming amongst the elves. Most Dalish seem to be flocking under the banner of the Dread Wolf, Fen’Harel. While many others of her kind had been flocking to the Qun for over a decade.

It seemed that at some point during the Blight over a decade ago, the Ferelden Government had authorized the selling of Elves from alienages to the Imperium. The Hero of Ferelden had managed to expose all of that at the Landsmeet which had stopped the sale, but it didn’t take back the feeling of Ferelden elves everywhere. This had caused major distrust for both the Imperium and the Ferelden crown. After which many had turned to the Qun, leading others their as well. Then only a few years ago the Elves of the Free Marches had done much the same.

       Now the only elves still loyal to the Inquisition were those that were mostly still left in alienage throughout Orlais and Ferelden or the Circle mages that were left. And that number continued to dwindle every day. Never mind that the Inquisitor herself was a Dalish fucking Elf! Even half of her own clan had left to join the forces of Fen’Harel, …of Solas.

       It didn’t help that many saw the Inquisition as losing some of its legitimacy once it stopped being its own organization and became an arm of the Chantry under the Divine Victoria. And while her and Cassandra had laughed about that at the start, now months later it had actually hurt the Inquisitions reputation more than any could have understood. And that left her, and the Inquisition, where she found herself now. If not for the ongoing efforts of rift closing its almost as if the Inquisition would have lost all its potency.

       “Enan? What are you doing out here?” Cullen asked as he made his way out on to the balcony. He put a fur around her naked shoulders.

       Enansal leaned back into her husband and he wrapped his arms around her. "Honestly I’m just getting angry. I trying to think how we got here.” She answered.

       “Are you sure you really want to do that? I mean specifically right now, in the wee hours of the morning.”

       “It’s not like I want to.” she laughed, but it was a hollow laugh. “Two years ago we were a force to be reckoned with. Six months ago we were still a team, still family. Now… Now it feels like we are broken. Our forces are a fraction of what they once were, Bull is dead. Cassandra is the Divine. I rarely hear from Vivian unless she needs something. Varric is a Viscount.” That last thought actually made her laugh a quick but hardy laugh. “Nothing is as it was. And we aren’t any closer to Solas then we were when we discovered his secret.”

       “No, we aren’t broken.” Cullen responded to his love and then was silent for a bit. When he did respond again, he said, “I’ve been broken. This isn’t broken. And you aren’t broken. You are still the amazingly strong woman I fell in love with. Your strength saw us through so much. Saw me through so much. And it will see us through this.”
Cullen moved, letting go of her, and made his way around her to sit on the railing. “When did you get to be so optimistic?” The Inquisitor asked her husband.

       Cullen took Enansal’s right hand into both of his. “I learned it by watching you.” He smiled at her and then looked out at the horizon. The light of the sun was just barely starting to begin filling the day, even though the sun itself hadn’t yet broken over the landscape. “You have done the impossible. And I know we will do this.”

       Enansal squeezed his fingers with her good hand. “I have done, but… will I again. I keep thinking about the Champion.”

       “Hawke? What about her?” Cullen asked.

       “I don’t know if she saw it or not, but I was in awe of her.” She admitted.

       “Really? What about her?”

       “You lived in Kirkwall, lived through Kirkwall while everything was going on. And you said yourself that you knew her before everything went down in the end. Before you stood with her against Knight Commander Meredith. But for me, she was a legend. We had heard about what she had done for the Sabrae clan long before she fought the Templars and the Mages. How she was favored by Asha’bellanar. She was a legend. Even in the Fade, she sacrificed herself for us without any thought.” Enansal tried to explain what she was feeling.

       Cullen feared his wife’s self-doubt and answered, “Listen. Yes… I’ve met the Champion. I’ve also met the Hero of Ferelden too. Admittedly it was a fair bit before she saved Ferelden, but I met her. You know what they both had in common? They were just people trying to do the right thing. That’s it. No one embodies that more than you.”

       “You don’t understand though. I think I understand what Solas wants to try to do. Think about it, before he was Fen’Harel he was just one man trying to defend his people from enslavement. If that’s right then he was just like Hawke, just like the Warden, and… just like… just like me.”

       “No.” Cullen stated flatly. “No he is nothing like you.”

       “I think your wrong dear. Somewhere, long before us Solas had a plan. But the magic he cast was so great even he couldn’t have truly known the ramifications. And now… now he’s trying to fix what he thinks he did wrong.” The Inquisitor shared her epiphany.

       Cullen was at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to respond. And for a time the just sat together watching the sun continue to get closer. When he did finally speak again it was simply to ask, “Well, then what do we do now?”

       “I think…” Enansal started and then stopped herself. “I think we need to find Morrigan.”

       “Why?”

       “She drank from the well. If anyone may have some answers, it might be her. She studied many parts of ancient elven magic like the eluvian. And she is somehow connected to Flemeth, to…” She paused, almost scared to say the next part. She looked at Cullen and spoke the word “Mythal.”

       “Leliana won’t be happy to hear that. She can’t stand that witch. Something happened during the blight I gather.” Cullen spoke, but not necessarily answering his wife.

       “I know, but I think we need her.”

       “Alright, then that’s what we’ll do. But…” Cullen stood up, pulling his pregnant wife up as well. “It can wait a few hours. Leliana will be her for a few days before re returns to the Grand Divine. And you are very cranky when the baby doesn’t get much sleep.” He smiled at her and kissed her. Then led her back to the bedroom.

       They both crawled back under the blankets as the sun finally crested over the nearby mountain ranges. She amazed Cullen daily. His wife was a legend now, but she was much more than the world would ever know. How many women tried to save the world as they were pregnant. Not many he though idly. He could only hope to stand beside her in the days to come. He was not naïve enough to believe it would all simply work out in the end. He didn’t know what hardships lay ahead, but he would stand beside his wife, the Inquisitor. He would be her shield. Even if that shield was as ear for her in the early morning.